Chronicles of a Rose

Gah, It's been for-freakin'-ever, hasn't it?!?!? I feel horrible. I have said forever that I would update. You guys can feel free to smack me if you want, I deserve it. I've started writing things over and over and just never got around to posting them and then they'd get too old to post and the cycle went on and on. I suck as a blogger. I am actually determined to post every week or two from now on, and if I don't, send me hate mail. :P

Right now things are a bit weird. I have moved out of my parents house until they can make a lot of positive changes. And I'm not going to believe that the people who've told me they want ot change over and over and promised change repeatedly and it's just never happened actually have changed until I get confirmation from a trusted source...IOW, my sister Rachel, who has finally in the past month or so started thinking for herself, loosening up, actually smiling, and, WONDER OF WONDERS - hugging people! She's very cool now and I enjoy talking to her (email me, sis) a ton and I trust her judgement.

I lost half of this due to laptop malfunction and battery loss, so I'm going to do a re-cap.

I'm staying with my cousins David and Lisa and their daughter Catherine (age 4) right now. They're cool, but it's getting boring...I haven't met anyone my age, or even SEEN anyone my age who isn't a preppy...Even the GOTHS are preppy! It's freaking RIDICULOUS. I'm surrounded by rich kids. It's awful.

We went to see Ice Age 2 this past weekend. It was really cute and funny.

I'm reading a cool book by Patricia A. McKillip called "Alphabet of Thorns". It's really neat and McKillip-ish. I highly reccomend.

I'm all depressed and moodswingy most of the time. One second I'll be flying high, the next I'm slit-my-wrists depressed. It's annoying.

I'm depressed about my weight...I can't get skinny again. Last summer I actually looked good, and now I'm just all icky and gross. I should go on a diet and excersize, but I can't seem to find the time or be picky enough to choose the right foods. I hate myself.

I want to get my ears double pierced next week...Should be fun, whatcha think? I'm thinking about getting a ring in the upper cartilage too, but I dunno, I've heard they're hard to keep up. Somebody say something.

I FINALLY found my HIM CD - It's so awesome!!!!! "Under The Rose" is one of my favorite songs EVER. It's GORGEOUS, and the lyrics are awesome.
They are:

I dream of the winter in my heart turning to spring
While the ice gives way under my feet
And so I drown with the sun
I've been burning in water and drowning in flame
To prove you wrong and scare you away
I admit my defeat and want back home
In your heart under the rose
I open my eyes with a sigh of relief
As the warmth of summer's sunlight dances around me
And I see you with dead leaves in your hands
I've been burning in water and drowning in flame
To prove you wrong and scare you away
I admit my defeat and want back home
In your heart under the rose

Are those not beautiful, tragical words? I love the "Burning in water and drowning in flame" bit.
I love all their other music too though. They are some AWESOME musicians. Ville is a little girly, but I don't care. :P

I gotta run finish cooking dinner here. Will post with news and maybe pictures soon - Linz did a short photoshoot with me. Some of them turned out pretty good. :)

~ASHLEY~
~Dying Rose~

Posted by Ashley on Wednesday, April 05, 2006 at 9:11 AM | Permalink